Random Ramblings and Drunken Quotes

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I know I know I suck. I’ve completely been slacking at this lately and I still don’t have anything good to talk about. Instead I’ve been thinking about things like LOLcats and how they aren’t very funny. Actually they are really fucking creepy. And now that cellphone company is advertising it’s phones (though it must not be doing very good at it because I can’t remember which company it is or what kind of phone it is) and trying to get everyone to put MORE cats into the world. Why would they do that? No one wants creepy cats. Besides they are probably rapid and will chew your legs and arms off. What good is that? I’ll tell you… it isn’t. It isn’t good at all so I am boycotting this cell phone company and their new phone. Even though I kind of need a new phone but I like my company. Besides I don’t even know what company this is. I’ve also been thinking about M&Ms. They split up. Did you know that? Apparently. I don’t think it is really that sad though. I mean that red one was a real douche bag. Especially to the yellow one who was only ever being a good friend even if he isn’t the smartest M&M in the bag. Also how come only one of them is a girl? And why is she such a slutt? Or is she like the rest of the M&Ms pimp? She should look into that line of work. She might make better money than she does fluttering her eyelashes. Whatever. And so because I can think of nothing better to talk about I am going to leave you with a bunch of drunk quotes from my friends and I. Partly because they are fun but mostly because I am not feeling creative enough to come up with anything witty to talk about. So here you are (or aren’t. Whatever.)  

Peter: (about gin) it tastes like the water in the bottom of a christmas tree!

Misty: (also about gin) when I burped it smelled like one of those tree shaped air freshener.

Misty: you just spit and snotted in my drink!
Claire: You really should take it on a date first!

Claire: if I had a penis I would call it the denominator because so many girls would have it in common.
Alice: because its great!
Claire: HUGE!

Misty: I bet she was a whore before she got married.
Claire: yeah she was like “it’s research” and I was like “nooo, you’re just a whore!”

Alice: what is a good way to make fast money?
Misty: prostitution.
Alice: but how would I do that on campus? If I stood on the corner everyone would think I was just a girl standing on the corner.

Claire: once upon a time I caught jaws.
Alice: and he broke out of my fishing net.
Misty: and ate a little boy!
Alice and Claire: awwww!
Misty: what?!?! It’s Jaws! He does shit like that.

Alice: speaking of cats I was going to spray paint my Grandma’s cat.
Misty: What color?
Alice: Blue
Misty: how long ago was this?
Alice: oh just like two months ago…

Bailey: I saw your crack dealing cousin in walmart.
Draden: how is she?
Bailey: No Kendra.
Draden: how is she?
Bailey: not Emily, Kendra.
Draden: HOW IS SHE?!?!

Draden; I’m like fuck you coppers! I’m not better than you!

Okay I’m done for now. I’ll leave the others for the next time I have nothing to write about. Also this whole post is useless and if you waste the time reading well… You probably need a life. Oh yeah and GO BRUINS!!!

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