Misty’s Words of Wisdom Rule #2: Every Girl Needs a Friend Who Will Sit on the Bathroom Counter While You Piss on a Stick
Who hasn’t been there? If you are a girl you know what I am talking about. You’ve been dating a guy for a little bit or you had a one night stand a few weeks ago and you didn’t make the best choice you should have, or you did but it didn’t work quite the way it was supposed to, or it did but you are still freaked out. Because lately you haven’t felt well, especially in the morning, and you can’t remember “was a supposed to start my period last weekend or this weekend? Or maybe it was next week?” And as soon as you start trying to figure it out you know you never will because you are to stressed out to think straight.
So you decide you might as well buy a pregnancy test because at least that will give you a little piece of mind, or not. Depending on the color or symbol that’s shows up be it one way or the other depending on what you are hoping for. And when you have that pregnancy test in hand every girl has at least one friend (if your lucky you have more) they call. One friend that you know will be there with you not judging no matter what.
This friend will tell you that you are probably crazy. She will tell you that you just aren’t counting your days right. She will tell you there is no way you could be pregnant. Or that even if you do end up being pregnant it is okay that you drank half the bar last week because you didn’t know then and she knows you would never knowingly do that. So she will go into the bathroom with you and sit on the counter and tell you al of these things when you pee on that stick. And doesn’t it seem tiny? I mean you are so nervous you are shaking, how can you possibly hit the stick? You’re just going to get pee all over your hands and pant leg and this whole experience is really starting to suck even more because now you are so nervous you want to vomit and you have pissed all over yourself. While this is happening your friend will either be comforting you or laughing at you (in a kind way) or a little bit of both.
Then you’ve finally accomplished what seemed impossible, you got the piss on that stick! But now you have to wait to look at the fucking thing. You know you can’t do it but your friend can and she will and she does. Because she loves you. Why else would she be sitting on a counter in the bathroom hanging out with a nervous wreck of a girl who peed all over herself? And your loving friend does it. She looks at your syupid test for you and the majority of times she tells you its negative. Except when its not. Then she tells you its positive, gives you a hug, and holds you while you cry.
Everyone needs a sit on the counter friend because this friend is the one that will never judge you, even if she doesn’t agree with your opinions. She is the one who will stay with you even when you look ridiculous and are covered in pee. And most of all she is the one who knows when you need someone and she will hold you, even though you will never admit to having cried about something anyway. So if you don’t have a sit on the counter friend you better hurry up and find one. They are one of the most special people you will have in your life. I’m lucky enough to have a handful.