Misty’s Words of Wisdom Rule #1: Liars Should be Kicked in the Teeth and the Cunt
The one thing I hate most in the world is a liar. There is no need for that shit. if you are cheating on me, tell me straight up. If you think I look fat in this dress, tell me straight up. I may get mad, I’m not making guarantees that I won’t because I’m human and my feelings get hurt too, but I would rather know the truth than be running around like a fool. I don’t lie so I don’t expect to be lied too. Actually I’ve been told that I am too honest, I hurt people’s feelings, and I need to learn crass. I say “well its true soooo fuck you.”
The only time lying is okay is when you are making up stories that won’t harm someone just for fun but really only if they are so ridiculous no one would believe you anyway. Not a made up story you think is fun like “my grandma died yesterday” because you want attention or one like “santa clause is real” because kids actually believe that shit. (Also Santa is fucking scary!) Those are absolutely not okay. But a story like “last night I was driving home and I totally saw a baby jogging down the street!” Because who is going to believe that? If you believe it than you deserve to be lied too (okay maybe not.)
Of course you could say that this is all a bit hypocritical, a lie is a lie. In which case I will say to you, “whatever bitch.” You don’t have to agree with anything I say. That is the beauty of independent think. I am just here to say that I am not going to lie to you so kindly refrain from lying to me. Oh and did I tell you about the blue moose I saw drinking out of the pond in the park the other day? I can’t believe I forgot to tell you that story!